Johnny: I'm someone who has just come through unbelievable trauma. And Cathee's concerned about me coming into her body with that.
There are some experiences where everything—all your idealism, all the tremendous amount of work you've put into something like a presidential race and career, all the faith that people have had in you as their leader—you're betraying because you're cloned and they've got your mind. And you're disappointed in yourself, not understanding why you say things but you don't feel them. You know they're not your thoughts, but you're saying them. It's an out-of-control feeling, when you realize that everything that you put your heart into and built was just so that you could be the most effective pawn that they could have. You make yourself as brilliant and as beautiful as you can, and they take advantage of that, because then you're a very effective pawn. Not to mention, you're under the thumb of EMFs [electromagnetic fields] that don't let you have a spaciousness of spirit. You're always feeling this EMF prison around you, and that prison contains information that is always pressing in on you, and is directly controlling your moods. But you look like a free, wealthy, successful person. And you know that it's probably happening to a lot of people around you.
There is not one shred of meaning in that situation, to continue. The more successful you would be, the more you're their pawn who's successful. And everyone around you is so controlled, even their thoughts and feelings are not their own. They are dialed into the HAARP computer, and the lesser fields. "How are we going to make them feel today?" You can't even connect with other people, because they're not really real either. They're pawns too. It's worse than being a robot, because you look like you're not one.
I don't think I was totally onto how bad that experience was until the minute I got in the White House. I kind of suspected, but you want to keep your commitment and your idealism, especially if you're carrying the responsibility of being a leader. But that level of disillusionment undermines any idealism, any values that you've been taught that you believed in, any symbolism, any religion, any democratic principles. It all just means piddlysquat. It's like the whole thing was a joke. And it feels like it was all propaganda, really. A play, a facade.
In a moment like that, there is no way you can possibly pull yourself out of it. You can't. I mean, you are had—more even than in the gulags, where the prisoners could still think and resist and love. It was hard to love because everyone seemed so phony. It was like loving empty shells of people. And as I've said before, the level of virtual reality entertainment was amazing. People were lost in their movies and in their holographic parties.
There's something the Leapers are trying to get across that's very difficult to get across, I think. How when you've been had, about the most you can hope for is not even death, because sometimes that just continues the imprisonment. But you can hope to just be, as they say, folded back into the playdough and re-created as something other than what you are. "If there's any energy here that can be recycled into another creation, recycle me," you know?
I was extraordinarily lucky to have a parallel self like John, who was very connected to Cathee and Peter, and they were able to channel this stuff and do something. I'm very concerned that I will be a burden to them now that they have brought me over, and I was not just recycled. I'm not even sure if that was a good thing entirely, unless I can influence this parallel world to not go there.
What I'm guessing is that the majority of all the ideals and the stories, the myths of the society—I mean in a positive sense, the culture—is going to have to fall on many parallels. Because we're going to a place in the evolution of humans that has nothing to do with all that. From what I can tell, we have depended on our mythologies to hopefully awaken within people something good, virtuous, loving, and worth living for. And I don't think it's worked. We've had thousands of years of religion, teachings, explorations, development of the mind, and development of the heart in this way or that way. And I'm not sure it all really means something. In that emptiness . . . I won't even call it despair, what I was in. Practically erasure, or totally being controlled. Not knowing what was authentic in anybody, including myself. There was nothing to hold onto whatsoever. My religion didn't help me, and I'd been quite devout.
But there must have been something in that emptiness that existed of me enough that John could find me, and identify me. Which surprised me. When I felt him coming, and could feel his beauty and his resonance with me, I was amazed.
So I have a feeling we are missing out on some secret that our next "new age" needs to build on. Maybe we will find it through this kind of torture. I know it's going to look very different than what we've been living.
I just wanted to warn Cathee what just walked into her. I'm not going to walk in as much as John did, but with me with you, Cathee, you're going to be pushed in a way that you don't understand. You're going to be under my influence, if you let me be here, and will probably become extremely discerning and at times cynical. You aren't going to put up with piddly squat in people who are expounding certain principles and obviously not living them. Or even who believe in the evolution of the human race as being something that culture builds and builds, and makes us better people as we go through the centuries, let alone our own lifetimes. There's something much more important that I am looking for than that. And I think once I find it, it's going to be laser sharp and very powerful.
The Leapers are some of the few beings I've met that can live in that kind of intensity, in that kind of silence, in the uncreated substance of whatever existence is. Probably under my influence you will either get very disillusioned, Cathee, or you're going to let some power come through you that you haven't tapped before, that can permeate a room without you even talking. I don't know exactly what I'm saying here. But I think we need to go there. And in that place, even good and evil are strange distinctions. It's just what is. What is inside either good or evil. What is existence. What is alive.
So I almost apologize for my coming into your lives now with this heavy knowledge of the flip side of probably all that you hold dear. But I think we can all anticipate that a new world, a new frequency, is going to be nothing like we've known.
On the parallel I just came from, I think my body is still walking around there, but I think it is lacking the vitality that it needs to survive much longer once the soul is gone. Clones are usually not very healthy very long, unless they manage to feed on somebody else's energy, like a parasite.
When you're getting into that level of destructiveness, it's not even so much a matter of human evil. It's beyond human. It's like a black fog.
Here's what I think needs to happen there. Well, Cathee and Peter once did a space clearing. A woman's father had died paralyzed by some horrible disease after she had been taking care of him for years. And after he died he stayed in the house, because he didn't believe in life after death and he still felt paralyzed. So Cathee had to make herself extremely, extremely still, and just gently be with him, very quietly. And reflect back to him in her resonance his paralysis, so that there was something he could start to begin to recognize that he was resonating with that was outside of him. She matched his vibration, and just held that space for him to be able to feel himself. And it finally dawned on him that he was conscious of something. So he realized he was alive after death. She very slowly pulled him a little farther, and a little farther, to where he was able to make a decision. Well, actually, he said to let his daughter decide whether he would go on or not, but even that was a decision. He became aware a little bit, anyway.
What I think that parallel needs, is for someone to be able to go into even that level of terrible lack of selfhood and emptiness and find what is authentic left in there. And just hold space for that spark to be reflected and resonated with. At that level, it doesn't matter what you've ever believed and what culture you're from and who your president is. It's just a very basic—almost at the level nature exists at—beingness. I think that's the lightwork. It's not sending light. It's not sending love. It's being with someone where they're at. And it's a rare person who has the strength and love to be able to sit in that with someone, because you have to admit that that exists. The sweetness and goodness that you may hold as an ideal may not hold up there. You have to be willing to go into that, and stay alive and stay aware yourself, in order to hold space for someone.
I think this is a lot of why we are working the way we are, as a soul family. I'm not even sure it's true, but I think the Leapers have some idea that I had enough lines of connection between me and millions of people that if I made my way out, there would be a path for those millions of people to resonate with me, and find their way out. I think that was our goal in my and the other John's being born Kennedys and having no choice but to be a public figure from the womb on. And so this is what we are fulfilling in the best way we know how.
I'll try to not be too much of a drag on the party in the future! Thanks for letting me talk.
Cathee, you were just saying, you would be tempted to self-publish, but you feel like this work needs to go out bigger than it probably would if you self-published. And you hope that a publisher will spend a little bit of p.r. money on you. It's not about you, Cathee. It's not about your fame, or even your happiness. You are the flip side of being a pawn like I was. The more you just say, not my will but divine will, the more fulfilled you will be. You in some ways have no choice. This idea goes for all of you. Cathee has no say personally about how famous she will be, how heard or understood, or how wealthy, ultimately, because that relates to how effective you can be in the world. It's really not up to you, Cathee. And you can get your ego in there, or keep your ego out of it, but it doesn't matter. You can work your tail off or do nothing—I think even that hardly matters. If divine will wants you to put out a book that does well, divine will will do that. And the more you let yourself be a puppet of divine will and not really care either way, the more effective this will all be, of course. So it's the flip side of, I was a puppet but not of divine will. Although who knows, in the big scheme I guess it's all divine will.
Jason, you talked earlier about your boddhisattva vow—that you wouldn't leap until everyone else is out. I really think the boddhisattva vow is misguided. The whole thing is whatever divine will wants you to do. And if divine will wants you out of there, get out. If divine will wants you there in the thick of it, stay in the thick of it. I mean, it's just so simple. It really has nothing to do with principle, even. It's like, where am I to be? If you're to be dancing and feasting and experiencing joy somewhere, totally forgetting about the rest of the world, then that's what you should do. And that would be the most helpful to everybody if that's where divine will puts you. I mean, think of that radiance going out. And I do sense that divine will does want you to have a bit more of that than you do.
Jason: I do OK in the dancing department, anyway. Not the feasting.
Johnny: I guess I'm saying, Cathee, if you're going to hang out with me—and you have been so kind to me the last few days since I showed up—it's going to be very incumbent on you to handle power. To learn to be able to resonate like I was talking about, and reflect back to beings such as I who we are. And yes, carry power.
You're wondering how much I will come in. I see myself as, I'm going to be out there driving people towards you. I'm going to be out there in the crowd pointing people in your direction, feeling that you will be able to have the words they need when they need it. And I know a whole lot of people, even on this parallel. I'm still connected. So get ready.
Cathee: Isn't it going to be fun, Peter? [laughs]
Johnny: Thank you, Peter.
Cathee: OK, Johnny. OK.
Jason: Who cloned you?
Johnny: When you ask who. . . it is a good question, but the answer is more like a force. I don't see individuals.
Jason: Like an evil, demonic force.
No. It's us. It's almost like the shadow side of . . . I wish I could put my finger on it, because it doesn't feel like it's outside of me. It feels very human. But it doesn't feel inside of me either. I think when you get that utterly isolated, and you lose your ability to feel like you can connect with someone, it's almost like no other humans really exist. You see them. They seem like robots. And that's true though, too, of the people running around doing the evil and setting it up. They are pawns too, but of what? I don't know if there is anybody that isn't a pawn, who is creating the pawns. You could say it's like a force. But it's not like that force is not us. It has a human feel to it.
When you're totally boxed in, it's like living in a small mirrored closet. Everywhere you look you see yourself. So your experience of that evil is all you feel. You can't see the source of the evil. You can't even see the evil. All you can feel is the experience of the evil. And all you have is your own experience, when you no longer feel like something outside of you can even reach you, or that you can understand anybody else outside of you. When it all seems like an illusion. Then anything you are experiencing feels like you. And if what you're experiencing feels like that horrible force of what you call evil, you don't know yourself as separate from it. Because you don't really have enough selfhood to distinguish.
So I guess I can't answer that question. Does that evil come from a source outside of that box? It's not like I feel like I'm going to be sucked back into the evil, or that I can't find moments of pleasure and beauty. I think I do know that that evil is a part of everyone, or no one. To pin it to a certain identity—a person's name or something—is beside the point. If you do find a dictator, he is owned by that. He's a pawn too.
Why does this exist? I don't know. But again, I think there's something within it and beyond it, through it, on the other side of it, that is where our future human experiments and evolution will be, as this all folds in.
As we speak, it's making me think how if we're at the end of an age of polarity, and the polarities are collapsing into each other—light and dark, good and evil, human and nature—we would have to totally own both good and evil to collapse that polarity into something beyond it. And maybe what I was experiencing is that closing in, where I could not put the evil at a distance from my own self-image, because that polarity was crashing in.
And of course, being a political leader . . . you know, this culture's huge myth is of the good guys and the bad guys. You'd think that one would especially need to collapse. What is beyond that good and evil dichotomy? That's where the incredible power of just being really lies. I don't know what it will look like, to follow that to its next step. But I know that's what I'm interested in.
Jason: Do you feel you can breathe now that you're in this dimension?
Johnny: Oh, we went to the Park a couple days ago. It was so beautiful. I kept telling Cathee, "Cathee, they're gonna wipe this out. They're not gonna allow this beauty. They're not gonna allow this incredible energy in the land." And Cathee was like, "What are you saying? What do you think they're gonna do?" And I was really getting worked up. [laughs] And she was like, chill, Johnny.
Peter: All that radioactivity and pollution.
Jason: We can ruin it.
Cathee: Oh, we definitely can ruin it, yes. But I was trying to tell him, not just chill, but that there are joyful parallels where this stuff doesn't have to be ruined. We can leap to a joyful parallel where it's beautiful. It was so energetic, though, so alive more than I've felt it before. The land was just vibrant, even in winter, with the sunlight on the snow. So that was exciting.
Dennis: The weights must be off your shoulders, not having to be the pres.
Johnny: Well, but you know, I still feel like I've gotta do what I can for those people, so it's not really off. It's just a little harder when you're suddenly in a woman's body who is going like, what the heck? So I've gotta be careful not to burn her out. But it was really fun to come in.
Cathee: We love you Johnny. Don't worry too much about burning me out. Nobody else does. The nature realm doesn't worry about it too much. [laughs]
Johnny: Thank you for holding space for me tonight. I love you, too.
Beyond Evil to:
Part Two of Parallel Worlds Leap Manual
Intro to Parallel Worlds Leap Manual
© Cathee Courter and Peter MacGill, photos and text. All rights reserved.
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